After More Than A Month.

Been more than a month since I’ve written anything here and expressed my feelings to anyone. The truth is, I tried to jot down but I couldn’t come up with anything good enough to express my feelings. My brain has been working 24/7 with something or the other and I have been such a mess with everything in my brain.

Exams are over and so is college now. Finally a graduate! Well, hopefully. Exams went well except for 2 of them so I just hope that I at least pass. While I was giving my exams, I realized how frustrated and saturated I’d become with my life right now. By the end of my last exam, I realized I wanted a break so desperately. Well, my life isn’t going my way so of course, the much-needed vacation is also not coming to me anytime soon.

Since the day my exams got done, I’ve been meeting my friends who are either shifting back to their hometown or friends from Mumbai itself who I won’t get to meet often since the college is over now. Spending some quality time feels so good even after knowing a fact that things will not be the same anymore.

I also met my Ex-Boyfriend (N). I never had the balls to meet him even when we live in the same city since the time we broke up (like more than a year back). Not sure how did I even gather the strength to meet him one on one this time. We were very chill post breakup. We talk atleast once a month. And we’re still good friends. Our meet was also quite chilled but it sure made me nostalgic.

I’m still clueless about what should I be doing now since the college is over. Go for the job or  start preparing for CAT and do my masters. I prefer doing the later more though. But lets see.

Adding to all my troubles, my dad has been really weird lately and I’m hating him for the same. He is my weakness and when it comes to him, I cannot control my emotions. I’ve just been crying since 7-8 days in random intervals and have been low. I kind of had a fight with dad as well and I need to sort out our relationship soon or else we might be in a huge mess.

Recently, one of my new friend from Delhi visited Mumbai and he was kind of my first ever “date” (K). I met him in at a conference I attended 3 months ago and we had a prom night there where we had to choose a prom and needless to mention, we chose each other. At that time, it was just a thing to know one person better from the crowd of more than 400 people. When he came to visit Mumbai now, I initially met him as a friend and as I spent more time with him during his stay, I kind of felt something for him. I was falling for him. This honestly happened after a really long time with me. I am not sure if I love him but I sure do like him more now. I have no hopes from myself when it comes to love. So, lets see what happens next. He has given me 2 beautiful days to cherish while he was here and I’ll forever be grateful for that.

I haven’t been talking to S much lately. He is kind of busy with his own life and new job and I don’t feel the connection as of now. Also, While I was in the low phase, I kinda pushed him away and took my time. So, we’re just kind of off. Let’s see what happens with him too.

I just hope my life gets on track really soon and I figure out everything, eventually.

Thanks for listening.

Much love. XoXo

 

 

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